Ok, so maybe this title sounds a bit dramatic and maybe I will be rehashing some ideas here that I have touched upon in previous columns on HB but nonetheless, have you ever had the feeling like you were being held hostage in good old Haarlemtown?

Now I ain’t talking about some kind of drama involving guns, ransoms and standoffs with the police.  I definetly suffer from a bit of Stockholm Syndrome with Haarlemtown. But I am digressing, or is beating around the proverbial bush before the Gemeente Haarlem has a chance to cut it down andput in a new parking lot?   Ok, so what do I actually mean by saying held hostage in Haarlemtown? So, say that you have a house, own or even rent. It is a nice little house in a nice little neighborhood. And eventually your nice little family has grown beyond the walls that house you and well you just wanna do what most people like you would like to do at least once in their adult lives.  No, not have a threesome but just move house. (Does Haarlemtown have a swingers club(s)? Actually, I don’t wanna know 😉

So, where was I…ah yes…well here in H’townit is becoming increasingly more difficult find a place to live and if you are able to then it is ridiculously expsensive.  500,000 plus for a rowhouse in the Leidsebuurt! And that is just the asking price. What people bid ovewr the asking price is absurd. WTF PEOPLE of Haarlemtown! Now fine, fine fine…I get it, that there are people who do earn enough by making apps for all of us to become more lethargic with our own lives, who can afford to pay these sort of prices for houses.  Good for them. Someone point them in the direction of Heemstede and Bloemendaal please. The rest of us who work “normal” jobs in the horeca, social welfare, educators, nurses, window washers, etc… Honestly, I have no idea what a normal salary is, seeing as I don’t actually earn one. I am what the the people on the right have called a “Linkse Hobbiest” and most of us LH’ers don’t earn fuck all.  We are just here on this earth to entertain the masses anyway. Why should those who work in the Linkse Hobby circuit actually get paid anyway. Once again I digress and will save this for another rant. Basis income anyone?

So where were we, where are we?  Oh yeah, unable to find an affordable houe in Haarlemtown to move to.  I mean is that too much to ask? Ok, for all extensive purposes I am living a life of relative luxury.  I have no real extra wants nor needs. Our family lives more or less within our means (that is that my wife brings home the vegetarian bacon and I fry it up in the pan.  To use an oldschool adage). It is now that the kids get bigger and older that we feel that a bit more space in house would be conducive to sustaining our marriage. To go from living in a puppet house to a big persons house would be nice change.  But it is not like either one of our incomes will be changing dramatically anytime soon, so we feel stuck. We could sell our current homw at an inflated rate, get a nice price for it but then what? Can we turn it around and invest in something else in Haarlemtown.  I am not quite sure anymore. We both would like to stay in Haarlemtown, a city that we have invested ourselves in. Plus, who wants to take their kids out of one school and put them in another.

Sof or now we have sort of shrugged our shoulders and think about fresh coats of paint.  An opbouw, like everyone else. (But that shit is exspensive as it is anyway.)

And at the same time, how many new apartment complexes, nieuwebouwwijken are being built here in Haarlemtown? I wonder how all the fine amenities that this quaint city has to offer now, will be able to handle the influx of so many more people?

Take for example the Houtvaart, the only outside swimming pool here in Haarlemtown.  Ever been there on a hot summers day? Crowded heh. Of course, to be expected. Now imagine the Houtvaart on a hot summers day with a few hundred more people there.  We will be like sardines swimming in a warm pool of kleuter piss and 50 plus sunscreen.

And what about the schools?  Maybe the Gemeente should think about turning the Egelantier into a new basis school rather than a high-end hotel or another “cultural” hotspot. Money Money Money, Haarlem Jazz and More and More…People.  

Haarlemtown… a city in flux.  Its international population larger than ever before (maybe except for when the Spanish were here).  Ok, fine. I like living in an international town. Sure, a city should grow rather than stay stagnant.  And it’s not like I am hating on ALL the Amsterdammers who have giving up being cool for better preschools, for moving to Haarlemtown too. I mean I wouldn’t want to live in Amsterdam either.  

But where would I want to live with my family then if not Haarlemtown?  I guess for better or worse I feel married to, bonded with, a partnership with this little big village of Haarlemtown.  For all of its “normalo-ness”, its fear of being uncool, for its seemingly continious need to measure its own dick with that of the big little city down the road.  Haarlemtown I fear that your exhuberant housing prices are attracting humanoids not future Haarlemers.

And it gets me to wondering if Ijmuidenaars are getting worried about all the Haarlemers that may be headed their way?

Meer Joshua? Lees hier zijn vorige column.
Foto: Wiebrig Krakau.

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